Bound To The Blue Sea
by dearlyfantastical5511
Summary: (Hiatus)Katniss's journey to discoverying Peeta was the one she loved all along and how he's the only person she needs. Post Mockingjay/Pre-Epilogue
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! This is strictly fan fiction. I do not own the Hunger games trilogy! Please don't sue me. :))**

Chapter 1

Soldiers from District Thirteen dump me like the waste that I am in the entrance to what is left of District Twelve. I know they hate me everyone hates me I killed their precious President Coin. I slowly walk through what was left of my home; my District Twelve I feel an overwhelming urge to run into the woods and hide from the catastrophe I created, but instead I bow my head and walk all the way to Victors Village alone. I stand in front of my house in Victors Village and take a good hard look at my personal prison; District Twelve is my personal prison. I guess they found it a better fit for me to live the rest of my days tortured not just by my dreams but also my reality. Living a life full of pain is better punishment than death. Death is the easy way out. I slowly open the door and look around the empty shell of a home. It's dark, cold and a painful reminder that I am alone. I slowly walk up the stairs and look toward the door to her room and can feel my heart shred into pieces. The tears cascade down my cheeks and I run into my room and slam the door behind me. I immediately start gasping for air. I can't breathe! I run to the window and open it and feel the breeze from outside hit my face and I suddenly can breathe. Then I realize it must have taken me all night to walk through the ruins of District Twelve because when I look up the sun is rising. The color of the sun rise reminds me of the morning of the reaping. I woke up just before sunrise and was getting ready to hunt with Gale. I was nervous about the Reaping since it was Prim's first one. Right before I left I walked over to Prim's bed and looked at her; there she was sleeping in her bed with that damn ugly cat she called Buttercup. And at that moment I looked up at the window and there was the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen. It gave me hope that maybe this Reaping wouldn't be so bad but little did I know I was completely wrong.

I don't know how long I stay there just staring out the window but the next thing I know wake up and I am laying in my bed nicely tucked in. I abruptly get up and scan the room but no one is there. It is already dark out so I assume I've slept the whole day. How could I of gotten into my bed I don't remember and how could I tuck myself in. I walk down stairs and no one is in the living room is completely dark but then I notice a light coming out from underneath the kitchen door. I walk over shove the door open to see a note lying on the table.

** Sweetheart,**

** Couldn't let you take all the glory in living in hell. **

** Haymitch**

** P.S. Sae made me bring you some food. It's in the fridge.**

Weeks pass hell maybe even months I don't know. I stay in my room staring out the window hardly ever moving. For the first few days I would just stand in front of the window tell my legs gave out. Haymitch found me of few times thrown on the floor staring into nothing but other times he found me rocking back and forth trembling with fear. One day he told me,

"Sweetheart. I can barely take care of myself you got to help me out here and get yourself together….please."

He waited for my reply but I just stared at my hands and let him guide me to my bed and pull the covers over me. I know I should have acknowledged him but I couldn't and I wouldn't. The next day when I awoke there was chair placed directly in front of my window with a blanket thrown on top. Since that day I just stare out the window and do nothing, feel nothing, I am nothing. I try not to think about anything because as soon as I do I replay the image of my little duck. Her smile reaching her beautiful blue eyes that sparkle with joy it makes my heart well and her beautiful blond braids swinging out of her face as she looks over at me and points at the perfect iced cakes in window. Then my mind betrays me and shows me the horrible memory of the last time I saw my little duck and how her untimely death was on my hands. If I would have taken those berries in the first games she would still be alive and that would have meant I did my job. Yes, she would be devastated that I was gone but she would still be alive. The only time I leave the chair is to use the bathroom. I have lost myself in guilt and despair over my little ducks death. Everything reminds me of her. The memory of Prim on that morning of the Reaping is a memory I relive every day as the sunrises because even though I feel like life shouldn't go on without Prim, it did and I hated that. No, I resented that because Prim embodied everything that was life. She was good, kindhearted, courageous, and pure. She wasn't tainted by the capital like I am.

Eventually Haymitch received help with taking care of me. Greasy Sae moved back to District Twelve she couldn't stand living in thirteen. She comes over and cooks breakfast, lunch, dinner, and cleans my house. Not that it needs cleaning the only thinks that gets used it is the bathroom. She is always scolding me for not eating and showering more.

"Look here, Girl. You need to eat somethin your practically skin and bones and you here smell like the meat I use a be cookin. Wouldn't hurt to shower you hear." Greasy Sae doesn't hold back her opinions but she says it with a hint of sincerity to it.

Time is like a blur most days I am consumed by nothingness but then some days I am consumed by nightmares of Prim dying over and over again. Then one day its different outside I hear voices. There outside my window I see him. The boy with the bread, the boy who loved me, the boy who tried to kill me, the boy who was tortured by the capital because of me. I feel my heart contract and tighten and tears start well up in my eyes. He is talking to Dr. Aurelius walking to the house next door. He looks like my Peeta not the Peeta the capitals mutt version. His blue eyes have a beautiful twinkle to them and his skin is glowing but there I can still see the fresh scars he suffered from the bombing and that his eyes are little sunken in but he looks better. I slowly stand up and put my hand to the glass and whisper "Peeta." Right at that moment he turns and looks at my window. Our eyes lock for a second and the next thing I know I am darting out of his view. I lean against the wall and realize I am panting and I don't know why I just did that. The one thing I do know is that the first word I have spoken since President Coin's assassination was his name. Peeta.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! This is strictly Fan fiction! I do not own the Hunger Games Trilogy or any of the characters. Please dont sue me:))**

Chapter Two

I slowly slide down the wall and sit with my arms wrapped around my legs and my chin resting on my knees. Tears roll down my cheeks and all I can think about is how much I hurt him. The pain I caused him started in the Games when I used him to gain sponsors. That was just the first time I hurt him and that was like paper cut compared to what the capital did to him because of me. I've always cared about him and tried to protect him but in the end I always hurt him. He was destroyed because I cared about him and because he loved me. I wish I could go over to him and tell him how sorry I am for all the hurt and pain I have caused him. I never deserved him and then the words Haymitch spoke to me echo in my mind "_You could live a thousand lives and not deserve him" _Haymitch was right then and still is now.

I'm lost in memories of Peeta and all the times he looked at me like I was the sun in a beautiful sunset. Then his eyes would change and they would be filled with disgust and so much hatred and his hands around my neck. I start to scream and thrashing my body all over the place. I need some air! I CAN'T BREATHE! OH GOD! I CAN'T BREATHE! My body starts to shake and I feel hands on my shoulders.

"KATNISS! Calm down! It's me! Haymitch! I'm not going to hurt you come back your just dreaming…..please Sweetheart." Haymitch says frantically.

"Peeta." I whisper and then everything goes black.

I awake to what sound like someone digging outside my window. I slowly get out of my bed extremely exhausted from my earlier nightmare. When I make it to my window what I see next causes me to loss my breath as I stare at Peeta planting Primrose outside my window. Why would he do that? Tears prickle down my cheeks and I feel happy for the first time since my Prim was taken away from me. I press my hand to the window and whisper "Peeta." He doesn't see me looking he is to engrossed in his task and after what seems like hours of just staring at him my stomachs growls and realize something smells really good and its coming from downstairs. I quickly get up and venture down to where the smell is illuminating from. I open the door to the kitchen and there is Greasy Sae over the stove cooking some kind of stew but that's not what woke me up it was something else. I quickly look around and there on the table are cheese buns. Peeta he was here and he brought me my favorite pastry but why would he do that? First the Primrose and now cheese buns; he should hate me and never want to see me again I'm the reason his whole family is dead. I suddenly lose my apatite; and turn toward the door when Greasy Sae turns around and says "Girl, get yo behin back here! Sit and eat!" I turn around and know I can't go back up I'm going to have to eat or she's going to be furious.

I eat my food on autopilot and can't get Peeta out of my mind. He still cares about me that he brought me the one thing he knows is my favorite pastry and planted Primrose for me. I don't know how to process this I was certain that he hated me now. That after everything that happened he would never forgive me but here he was being kind to me and what have I done for him. Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. He was back one day and he already was being the old Peeta and taking care of me. This wasn't fair to him. Life was never fair to him.

"You know, Girl, tat boy came n' bring those fo you n' now he outside plantin dos Primrose. He was the one who hollered Haymitch when heard yo screamin. He seem'd really worried bout you. Tink you should go over and say tanks don't yah tink?"Greasy Sae looks at me and gives me a scolding look when I don't reply.

I look down at my plate and wonder if I could ever talk to him again. Would he even want to talk to me? I don't think he would because I am the girl on fire and what does the girl on fire do? She burns everyone who loves her. I will forever be untouchable because if you love me you get burnt or worse incinerated. A tear slowly trickles down my cheek because I realize that even if people were to move back to District Twelve which I would doubt would happen but if it did I would be alone even with town filled with people. I would be the outcast the girl who killed their loved ones. My hands start to tremble and I suddenly feel a hand grip mine hard.

"Listen here. You is broken but so is he so is ery one! Tis here not yo fault. Can't be blamin yo self." She says as she shakes my hands in hers. "Now go on get ta bed."

I walk up the stairs to my room and think about what Greasy Sae said. I know everyone is broken but it is my fault. If I would have died in the Games and let Peeta live everyone would still be alive. Peeta would be living here in Victors Village with his family and working in the bakery with his father. Prim would be alive and her and my mother would be together mourning me but would ultimately go on and become healing partners to make ends meet. Then I feel pang in my chest; my mother she hates me so much she moved to District Four.

She said "_Katniss I will be moving to District Four they need help in the hospital and honestly I think it's better if I go there. I can't go back to Twelve and you know why…..It's…. just too hard." _I can still feel her hand on mine when she explains she will not be returning with me. _"Please try and take the help Dr. Aurelius' is offering." _With that she let go and left. In all honesty I don't blame her who could still love their daughter after she is the one who caused the death of your other daughter. More tears slip out of my eyes and when I make it to my room I can hardly see my chair that's planted in front of the window but I make it there anyway. I stare at the stars for what feels like an eternity before I can fall asleep.

_I can hear the waves crashing and the sand under my legs and his lips are hungry for mine. I'm back in the Quarter Quell. This memory reminds me of how much I really did care about him. His lips so smooth and urgent but I can feel the love radiating off of them. We are lost in each other for a few moments that seem like they last an eternity and that is when I realize I would love to stay in that moment forever. Then he stops our kiss and looks directly in my eyes and his blue eyes are on fire they are filled with passion I have never seen before. He leans in and deepens his kiss and I can feel the pit of my stomach do flops and my whole body tingles all the way to finger tips and toes. He slowly moves his hands from my hair down to my cheeks and caresses them. I feel myself shudder at his touch and he slowly brings his hands down to my neck and starts to squeeze. I immediately feel all the air my body needs being blocked off. I stare into his eyes and try to ask why but when I see his eyes I realize why. He isn't Peeta he is the mutt version of Peeta. _

"PEETA!"I scream while I thrash around in my chair "Peeta! Please?!

"Katniss! Stop it's me! Look at me! Wake up and look at me damn it!" Peeta says as he holds my body down. His face just inches from mine.

Blue eyes that look like the sea stare directly into mine and I know it's my Peeta not the mutt I was dreaming about. I stop screaming and start to sob uncontrollably.

I slowly watch my trembling hand move up to his cheek and I say through sobs "Peeta? Is that really you?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! This is just fan fiction! Made only for fun! I don't own The Hunger Gams or any of the characters! Please don't sue me! :))**

_**Hope you all enjoy this chapter! A little Everlark action :)) **_

Chapter Three

Peeta cups my trembling hand and looks into my eyes with so much despair. It's worse than I thought I don't even make him the slightest bit angry but instead I make him feel misery. I can't live knowing I make him feel despair. I don't deserve to live.

"Always, Katniss…" he says and then picks me up from the chair and lays me in my bed. Pulls the covers over me and half smiles and says "Goodnight Katniss." Then walks out the door so fast I don't have time to process what just happened.

I'm left in the dark thinking about how he looked at me. Pure sadness is written all over his face. How can he come here and take care of me when it is so obvious I still cause him pain. Even after everything he has been through he is still the same deep down and it's starting to resurface and that makes me smile. An actual smile crosses my lips. President Snow didn't win this one. He thought he could break Peeta forever but he couldn't no one could break Peeta. He was filled with too much good to become something so evil. I look at my hand and can feel the warmth that radiated off his cheek when I touched him. I bring it to my face and smile into it and fall into a nightmare free sleep.

I wake up feeling rejuvenated and happy because the first thing I think of is Peeta and his beautiful blue eyes. I get up from my bed go to the bathroom and walk to turn the bathtub on but when I pass the mirror I am horrified by what I see. My hair is matted and knotted all over the place and my skin looks so grubby. My eyes are sunken in and have dark circles under my eyes. Then I notice my scars and I see Prim engulfed in flames and the tears fall down. I slowly walk to the bath and sit in the tub and cry over Prim. I just sit in there replaying Prims death. Sae knocks on the door and I don't reply.

"Girl, you kay n' dare? Girl?" she says over and over. Till I hear walk away and leave the house.

"Sweetheart! Open the door! Now!" Haymitch continues to yell and I know he's drunk because he only ever yells that loud when he's drunk. Next thing I hear is "I'm gonna kick down this door if you don't answer me!" I still don't reply because with as drunk as he sounds he wouldn't be able to get his leg up without stumbling.

"Katniss? Are you okay in there? I heard Haymitch yelling please just say something so we can know you're okay." Peeta says tenderly. I hold my breath and think of the last night and smile.

"Peeta?" I say shyly because the thought just occurred to me he is standing outside my bathroom door while I am in the bath. Thank goodness Haymitch is too drunk to knock down the door.

"Yes, it's me. Why don't you come out of there?" he says.

"Uhhmmm" Sae clears her throat "Girl, Haymitch n' Peeta will wait fo you down stairs n' I will get you sometin nice n' clean to wear."

I hear mumbles and shuffling of feet and Sae says "You can come out now girl."

I slowly get out from the tub grab my robe put it one grab my brush and open the door. I walk to my room where Sae has laid out a green t-shirt and is looking through my drawers.

"Girl you too skinny all these pants gon fall right off." She hands me a pair of blue jeans with a belt. "Make sure you tighten tat belt real tight, yah hear?"

I nodded my head and watch her walk out the room. I slowly start to brush my hair through all the knots and it hurts like hell. When the knots are all undone I notice my hair is extremely long and don't think I can put it in my usual braid. It would take too much time. I get up and dress quickly noticing that Greasy Sae was right I'm swimming in my clothes. I take one last in the mirror and see that my hair doesn't look all that bad. I walk down the stairs to hear voices coming from the kitchen. I suck in a huge breath and open the kitchen door.

"Sweetheart, it's about damn time. Your fine?" I nod my head "Good. I'm going home." With that statement Haymitch is out the door.

I look at Peeta and he slowly drops his gaze and looks at his feet while he fidgeting. I want to say something anything but I'm tongue tied. I feel like my tongue is swelled up and I can't utter a sound.

"Why don't you two seat n' I cook yah some breakfast?" Sae says.

"I don't want to impose." Peeta says slowly picking his head up and glances at me.

I look at his blue eyes and want to say for him to stay but I can't get them out my heart races and my hand start to sweat. I don't know what's wrong with me.

"No yo not! Now sit!" Greasy Sae says as she pulls the chair for him to sit at the table.

At that moment I can't be more grateful to Sae she saved my butt. I would have ended up letting him leave because I can't get the courage to speak. I want him here with me and I know that is selfish of me because I don't deserve him but honestly can't help the way I feel. He makes me feel more alive than I have this whole time I've been here. We eat breakfast silently only little glances at each other here and there but not a word is spoken between us. When breakfast is done Sae takes our plates and tells me I have to wash dishes today because she is running late for her granddaughter.

"You know I can help you with them. I wouldn't mind." Peeta says as he starts the facet.

"I….uhhhh….okay." I mean to say but it comes out more as a whisper.

Peeta washes the dishes and I dry them because he says my hands already look like prunes from early. He makes me smile when he splashes the soap suds at me. I can almost feel myself slowly come back to life. He smiles and talks about how he is planning to open his father's bakery again. I look at his quizzically and he says, "They haven't told you?" I shake my head confused. "Most of the people from District Twelve are moving back to rebuild the town. I Thought Sae or Haymitch would have said something to you." I shake my head and look down. This is just another reminder of how life has gone on without Prim. "Oh, hey I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." He says and grabs my hand. How can someone who is supposed to be completely broken be so himself? I finally get the courage to speak.

"Peeta, I…thank you…for the help." I say with a small smile. But what I really wanted to say was I'm sorry Peeta for breaking your heart, for being tortured by capital, and killing your family but I can't say that just yet.

"No problem Katniss. I'm glad you're okay I don't know what I would of done if something what of happened to you." He says with sadness in his eyes.

I lift my hand and place it on his cheek and he closes his eyes and leans into it. What I do next feels so natural I slowly lean forward and place my lips on his and I feel the warmth radiate out of my lips. He returns my kiss so soft I barely feel it and then he suddenly stiffens and when I look at him his eyes are enraged and I can see that he is battling a war inside. I am terrified I grab my neck protectively and when he sees his eyes change in a second from full-fledged fury to grief. He then mutters an apology and storms out. I'm left standing in my kitchen with tears spilling down my face and the little shattered pieces of my heart just broke into a million smaller pieces.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own**** NOTHING****! This is purely fan fiction! I do not own I repeat I do ****NOT**** own The Hunger Games Trilogy or any of the characters! So ****PLEASE**** don't sue me! **

_**Poor Katniss is left feeling so confused! Don't worry more Everlark to come and this time good stuff! **_

**Chapter 4**

It's been two weeks, two long agonizing weeks since that kiss. I'm still so confused by it all. I don't know what made me think it was okay to kiss Peeta. Of course he should feel angry. The girl who hurt him so many times kissed him but oddly he returned the kiss. Why would he return the kiss? Is he angry at himself? If so, he shouldn't be. I'm the one who kissed him not thinking that I was crossing a barrier. I've replayed the kiss over and over in mind trying to figure out why I kissed him but the only thing I can come up with is. I wanted to, had to, CRAVED TO!. Peeta Mellark is the only person I want to kiss.

I've been trying to avoid Peeta since that night and honestly hasn't been too hard since I don't leave my house. He's dropped off a countless cheesebuns and four loaves of bread in all this time. I just can't get myself to go down there and face him not since the kiss. I'm to embarresed and ashamed at myself for doing that to him. Placing him in a compromising postion where the girl who broke his heart and ruined his life is trying to make her way back into his heart. Wait, is that what I'm doing? Do I really want to be back in his heart? Could it be Peeta Mellark is who is in my heart? No! The girl on fire doesn't love because she only hurts the ones she loves.

Sitting in my chair staring at my Primrose I realize that beautiful plant needs tending to. What better way to take my mind off of Peeta than to keep my hands and mind busy. I got up put on some raggedy jeans and t-shirt and walk out the door. Standing in front of the bush I realize I don't have any tools.

"Damn it! Guess I never thought of myself as a gardner." I say a little to loudly with frustrion.

"Well you were always out killing your food not growing it. So yah never saw you as a gardner." He says with chuckle.

I glare at him "Well never had the material explains why I don't have any now, too."

"Don't go anywhere. Stay put." He says as he jogs to his house and steps inside.

_What does he mean stay put? Where is he going and why is he talking to me like nothing happened? _

When he returns outside he is carrying a huge box. "Good thing I brought these then, huh?"

I look inside the box and inside are garding tools, watering can, packages of soil, and even a damn watering hose.

"I brought them at the capital thought maybe you would need them." He says with a small smile.

"Thank you, Peeta." I say surprised that he would think to buy these materials for me. Isn't he supposed to hate me?

"Katniss about the other night I'm sorry. It's….just…uhhhh.." He tries to explain but I cut him off.

"No! Peeta don't worry about it. My fault it was a mistake to have done that. I'm the one who should be saying sorry. I'm sorry." I say in rush.

His eyes drop and his shoulders slump and when he looks at me he looks sad almost as if he is disappointed in some way, but why? I made him angry; so why would he be disappointed?

"The thing is Katniss I want to explain to you why I left in such a rush. I want you to know, you deserve to know. The only thing is I can't right now. I've got to go into town and meet up with some of the people who have moved back. We are almost done cleaning up the rubble" He then walks over to me grabs my hand and says "Katniss can we please talk about this when I come back later on tonight? I really want to explain to you." His eyes look so vulnerable and innocent.

"Yes. That would…good…how about you have dinner with me?" I immediately turn red by my statement. I hadn't meant to say that out loud I was thinking it but didn't intend for it to come out.

"I would like that. Tonight it is then. Goodbye Katniss." He says with a smile that reaches his eyes and I can't help but return a smile just as wide.

I'm left staring at Peeta walking off into the town. With a smile and my heart skipping a beat when he turns around and says "See you tonight, Sweetheart!" At that moment he was my old Peeta, the boy with the bread.

**This is my shortest chapter. I don't know whether or not to continue on with this story. I'm not sure it is going in the right direction. If you all think it is feel free to review or pm me. If I don't get anything this well be my last chapter. Thank you for reading **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own**** NOTHING****! This is purely fan fiction! I do not own I repeat I do ****NOT**** own The Hunger Games Trilogy or any of the characters! So ****PLEASE**** don't sue me! **

_**I just want to thank veronique2 for being my first follower and reviewer! GabbyGaspard for following, favoring, and being my second reviewer. thehungergamesgirl1213 for favoring my story and following! Kate Mellark and Mirage Rules for following my story! Peetaismyhero thanks for favoring my fanfic! Means a lot guys! :))**_

Chapter 5

The afternoon went by dreadfully slow my mind kept playing the interaction with Peeta over and over analyzing and nit picking the whole encounter. What did he want to explain to me? I already know I ruined his life. Is he going to explain why he was angry I kissed him? Honestly, he wouldn't have to explain because I know he was angry because I crossed the line. I tried to tend to the Primrose but had no idea where to start and I didn't want to do anything that would harm this beautiful gift especially because it was from Peeta. I know I shouldn't feel that way about him because he deserves better than me. I will never be good enough for him. I decide just to sit and take in this beautiful day. Kind of reminds me of when I would go hunting and Gale.

I hadn't wanted to think of Gale and how I still can't bring myself to forgive him for helping kill my sister. I know we both have a fault in her death and I still haven't forgiven us both for killing her. I don't think I ever will. I push my thoughts of him to the farthest part of my mind and focus on Peeta. How his eyes are like the beautiful sea we saw in The Quarter Quell. Then the memory of us kissing on the beach plays through my mind and I can't help but feel my heart flop and my lips tingle. I sit staring at the Primrose thinking of Peeta for what seemed only like a few minutes but in actually I was lost in thought for hours. Before I know it Greasy Sae is shaking me yelling.

"Girl! What you doin out here starin at notin? Get up!" she pulls me by the arm.

I clumsily get up and realize that Peeta will be here soon and I haven't even gotten up from the spot where we had our encounter.

"Sae, Peeta will be joining me for dinner. I hope you don't mind making extras?" I say turning red.

"I know. Peeta practically ran me ova wit his excite! You know girl tat boy till have dat sparkle n' eye fo you. You just to dumb ta see it. Now go on get upstairs n' get cleaned." She says as she walks into the backdoor to the kitchen.

I'm dumbfounded by here statement. What does she mean he still has that sparkle in his eye for me? How could he? I single handedly ruined his life. I walk upstairs to my bathroom still thinking of what Greasy Sae has just said. I can't wrap my mind around it.

I shower on autopilot, while my body is cleaning itself my mind is somewhere else. Peeta. How could Peeta possibly not hate me? Once I'm done showering I dry myself off and put my robe on and walk to my room. I sit in front of my vanity and put my hair in my usual braid but instead of it being quick it takes me while to perfect.

"Let's face it Everdeen you've lost your touch." I say to myself when I'm done.

I walk to my closet and realize I have nothing nice to wear. All my clothes are huge on me and consist of t-shirts and jeans. I sit on my bed and put my face in my hands. Why am I making a big deal out of this? It's just dinner with Peeta. Then I remember when we had our Victors Tour Cinna had brought a bunch of dresses and outfits that I was supposed to have designed and thankfully my mother stored them in the basement.

I run to the basement because I'm on pressed time, Peeta will be here any minute. I found the rack with all my outfits and dresses. Some I will never wear they are to Capitol but others I know Cinna made them for me. I settle on soft yellow dress that resembles the one I wore to The Reaping except it has a brown belt in the middle and tiny little daisy designs on the bottom half of the dress. I know that Cinna designed the dress specifically for me because the daisy's means so much to me. I grab the dress bolt upstairs and put it on. I'm astonished on how beautiful it looks even though it is little big on me. I'm pulled away from the mirror when I hear Greasy Sae greet Peeta inside and my heart stops for a second. I draw in a huge breath gulp down my nerves and walk down stairs. When I come face to face with Peeta he looks flabbergasted, utterly lost for words.

I smile at him glad the impact I made and say, "Hi. You look handsome."

I immediately turn red from my sudden bravery. I wasn't lying when I said he looked handsome because he did. He had combed his surprisingly long hair and was wearing a gray button down shirt with dark washed jeans that looked like he took the time to iron.

"Wow. You look incredibly beautiful." He says and immediately turns red and says, "Not that you never look nice because you always look beautiful."

I can feel my cheeks filling with heat and I smile and look down at my feet. Greasy Sae immediately breaks the silence and says, "Well dinner is on da table. I'm leavin got ta pick up da grandbaby. Clean up after yo selves." She smiles and walks out the backdoor.

We eat in silence not knowing what to say to each other. I don't even taste my food because I'm nervous about what Peeta has to say. I'm so lost in thought I don't even notice when he asks me if I'm done eating until he grabs my hand and squeezes it. With that gesture I'm thrown out of my mind and staring into Peeta's blue eyes.

"Katniss are you done eating?" he asks with a worried look on his face. I nod in response and get up and take my plate to the sink. Peeta follow suit. As I turn around I bump into him and I look into his eyes and feel my heart skip a beat.

"Katniss can I please explain to you what happened the other day?" I nod. "I just want you to know that when I tell you and if you never want to see me again I will understand."

I look at him confused and I'm about to say something when he says, "Let me explain first, please." When I don't respond he continues. "You know when I was taken by the Capitol I was hijacked. My mind was jumbled up and I wanted to kill you because I thought you were a mutt who was trying to hurt me. Well Dr. Aurelius started treatment on me and I was getting better, well I am better but he said it would is going to take time for me to get completely better and even then I might never be the same. I came back to District Twelve because Dr. Aurelius thought that I was well enough to come back and that if I returned being here would also help." He stops and looks at me studying the reaction I'm having to what he is saying.

"Okay but what does this have to do with the other day when you stormed out?" I ask.

"That's what I'm getting at. I still have episodes. Katniss. Sometimes I just lose it and forget where I am and think I'm back in the Capitol being tortured, and sometimes I want to kill you." He says with tears forming in his eyes.

"Katniss but I don't really want to kill you. It's just that sometimes a word will even trigger it. It's all so unpredictable. Please believe me when I say I would never want to harm you willingly much less kill you." Peeta says through sobs.

Seeing this I realize how vulnerable and weak he truly is at this moment and my heart that was slowly mending shatters again. I look at him and now he means every word he says and I can trust him. I gently take his hands out of his face and place both my hands on his cheeks. I stare into those magnificent blue eyes and see a storm waging in there and so I say.

"Peeta Mellark I trust you with my life. You've saved it more times than anyone and truly cared, too. You've never had ulterior motives to keeping me safe and for that I will always be grateful. You will never hurt me and I know this because when I look at you I see the boy with the bread not the boy who the Capitol tortured. I see you. I truly see you."

I slowly press my lips to his and kiss him and to my surprise he returns my kiss. It's not like the one from the first Games or the Quarter Quell this one is different. It's sweet and blissful at the same time. It makes my heart stop, stomach flop and my mind hazy. When we end the kiss I look into his eyes and see the storm has cleared and know in that moment I am bound to the blue sea.

**Hoped you all enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment on what you think of this story! If you have questions feel free to PM me. Thank you for reading! :))**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own**** NOTHING****! This is purely fan fiction! I do not own I repeat I do ****NOT**** own The Hunger Games Trilogy or any of the characters! So ****PLEASE**** don't sue me! :))**

_**I just want to thank ash2728, Bluedog7, Eriberry98, GabbyGaspard, , ilikebread1, Kate Mellark, Mirage Rules, thehungergamesgirl1213, TXGolfer1206, veronique2, Wolf seeker and peetaismyhero for either reviewing, favoring, or following my fic. You all keep me going! :))**_

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"You're still trying to protect me? Real or not real?" Peeta says with a smirk.

"Real because that's what you and I do. We protect each other." I say with smile.

Peeta leans in and kisses me again but with more fire and I swear I can feel my lips burn. He pulls me closer and wraps his arms around my waist and presses our bodies as physically close as possible. I run my hands through his nicely combed hair and feel a stirring in my stomach that I never felt before. It made me realize I wanted more of Peeta. His blue eyes, his blond hair and how his tips curl at the ends, his strong arms wrapped around me making me feel safe for the first time since the games. I place my hands on both sides of his face and I slowly pull away from him and stare into his enticing blue eyes. Those eyes don't stare back at me but find my soul and takes it into his and at that moment I know he is forever a part of me.

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The next weeks Peeta and I are inseparable. We spend almost every waking moment together just getting to know each other all over again. Peeta tried showing me how to bake all sorts of breads and pastries but I am horrible. He won't admit that I am a lost cause all he keeps saying is.

"You just need practice and patience. I will get you to be a great baker just like me in no time"

I hadn't picked up my bow and arrows since the day I killed Coin but with Peeta trying to teach me something I decided I wanted to teach him a trade too. I decided that I needed to brush up on my skills if I wanted to show Peeta the right way to become a suitable hunter. I planned I would go into the woods when Peeta was down in the town helping out. They had already cleared the rubble and were starting to rebuild buildings and homes with the help of a lot people from all the other districts. They were sending a lot people to the other districts that needed help as well. They called themselves something like a relief group or something to that effect. When Peeta mentioned them I didn't really want to listen because it causes an ache in my chest. Our people wouldn't have to be doing any of this if it wasn't for me ruining everything.

The day I decide to go out to the woods and hunt to brush up on my skills I don't tell Peeta because I don't want him to worry about me going out on my own. So when he comes over to have breakfast like he does every morning I act no different. He talks about how excited he is that today they will start to rebuild his father's bakery. I can't help but smile and grab his hand and give it a light squeeze.

"Peeta! That is such fantastic news. I'm glad you're doing this, really. I am proud of you and your father would be too." I say before I think.

His eyes turn from a vibrant sparkling blue to a dark gloomy blue and they fill with tears. His shoulders slump and he bows his head down and I can see the tears fall from his face. I quickly get up from my chair and I'm at his side in an instant. I place my hand on his shoulder and when he feels my touch he wraps his arms around my waist and buries his face into my stomach and weeps. He weeps like a boy who is lost and scared and that's when I realize Peeta is still just a boy. A boy who has lost every single person in his family because of me and the stupid rebellion I set in motion. He hugs me tight and buries his face deeper in my stomach and I start to sing. The only thing I can think of is to sing.

_Home is the only place_

_Where the air is crisp _

_The sun shines in even in the darkest days_

_Where love is all around you _

_Holding you in a tight embrace _

_Filled with love and faith_

_Faith that every day will be the perfect day_

_But when it isn't know that_

_Home is where I am with you_

I sing the song over and over until Peeta stops crying and pulls away from me and slowly looks up at me and smiles.

"Thank you. That song how come I never heard you sing that song? How come I've never heard it before? It's beautiful." he says.

"My father use to sing it to me and Prim every night. He made it for us. He called it _Home is Love_. I've never sung it to anyone not even Prim. It hurt too much." I say with a sad smile.

Peeta suddenly stands up and places his hands on both sides of my face and smiles and sad but sweet smile.

"I'm sorry but I'm glad you sang it to me. It makes me feel special." He says and kisses me softly that I barely feel it.

He then pulls me into a tight embrace and just holds me and it makes me feel like I'm actually home for the first time since my father died. He pulls away slowly and walks to the door and before he is out the door he turns around.

"I….ummm….gosh! I'll see you for dinner." He says and smiles with his cheeks turning bright red and then he's out the door.

I'm left feeling a little baffled by how he just acted. He wanted to say something but didn't say it but why? I wonder to myself what it is that he is hiding from me but have no time to press the subject because then Sae walks in.

"I see you done here. Gonna get to cleanin befoe I leave ta go pick up the grandbaby." She says.

I love how Sae doesn't pry on our personal lives. I know she heard everything that just happened and she doesn't even act like she did.

"Sae, how do feel about me bring you game again?" I ask/

"Girl, tat be great. Need something ta spice up my meals." She says with a huge smile on her face.

"Well then I better get to it." I say and walk to the closet in the living room and grab my bow and arrows and my father's hunting jacket.

"Oh girl befoe you leave you need to tell tat boy what you be feelin. I know he be feelin da same." She says with a serious look to her.

I don't dare question her but there goes my last thought.

"See you later Sae." I say and walk out the door.

I walk the whole way to the woods just thinking about what Greasy Sae just said. I don't know what I feel I've actually haven't even thought about how I feel. I just know that Peeta makes me feel better; alive is more like it. I spend the whole time in the woods trying to not think about Peeta and my feelings because man is it making my already rusty skills damaging.

When I finally get myself on track and focused the first squirrel I try to hit I miss so badly I wince at how bad and out of practice I really am. It take me four more tries before I actually hit one and when I do its right in the belly so I'm upset and won't settle on that one. I will still take it to Sae but I won't leave here till I hit one right in the eye. I'm out in the woods all day but it was worth it because I hit three more squirrels right in the eye.

When I head back home it is dark and I realize Peeta is probably going crazy because he doesn't know where I am. I quicken my pace to get home faster because I don't want Peeta to worry about me. Nearing my home I see all the lights in my house and Peeta's house are on and I feel guilty because now I know for sure he was looking for me. I'm almost to the gate of my home when I see Peeta running toward me.

"KATNISS! Where were you?! I was so worried about you I thought something happened to you or someone took you!" Peeta says franticly.

He looks at me and sees the squirrel I have in my hands and his eye brow raises and playful smirk starts to form on his face.

"Can't take the hunter out of the girl and I'm glad." He says and kisses my cheek.

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_**Hope you all like this chapter! Sorry for the delay but my life is hectic. I am raising my 1 year old who has so much energy and LOVES to run! :/ Well please feel free to comment and if have any questions to the fic PM me! **_


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